Do you feel like you are struggling with voicing how you feel? Do you feel anxious when you have to confront people? Are you struggling with setting boundaries? You’re not alone.
Managing a small business, home life and personal well being.
Stress seems to be a constant battle. I know I need to let it go. Even though I try to manage stress through exercise, play and socializing I still manage to feel stressed out. I think a lot of it comes from my personality of just going with the flow a little too much. It is difficult to run a business by only going with the flow and flying by the seat of my pants because there needs to be structure.
I have a love-hate relationship with structure. I strive on it and I become bored. I don't like the daily grind. It's mind numbing. But when I have a plan laid before me and am told I must execute x, y, and z... I do it. Where do I find the balance of structure and freedom?
I have yet to discover this perfect balance, but I believe I am getting closer. The adventure of starting and managing my own small business that requires dedication, structure and timeliness is where the answer lies, or so I believe. I know I can do it. I am doing it. But I must find the balance of planning and playing and going with the flow.
In order to avoid structure I tend to involve myself in a thousand different activities including running, teaching, painting, drawing, hiking, working at a brewery, spending time with friends, traveling, playing music and other random things I can't think of right now. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and wonder why the fuck I would want to run 10 miles in one day, teach for 2 hours, paint a painting, work a shift at the brewery and then go out for drinks with friends while also knowing I have to wake up early the next day to run some more. Then I remember the steady routine of going to work at 8 am coming home at 5pm, watching TV until I was bored, going to sleep and repeating it all over again 5 days a week.
For some the routine is grounding and is a safe space. For me it is boring, anxiety filled and brings about thoughts of is this how my life is going to be forever? I don't want that life. So I've decided to create my own path, pave it with the things I want and to not give a fuck about what the socially acceptable way of growing up is. I don't ever want to grow up if that means I'm doing the same damn thing all day long for the rest of my days. Nope.
So for now... I will work to manage my life, reduce my stress, find balance and create a path that is designed by me, followed by me and open for others to join in too.